Hey you,
I’m to write about my day. It was a pretty normal one.
The sun shone, and a cool breeze kept the 75ish° weather at standard. It was how most days began here. It is a California beach town, after all.
You’d think that with the weather being so similar day after day that people would stop talking about it. They don’t. When people find out that I moved here from Canada they assume I moved here for the weather. I didn’t. I like snow, and seasons. When it rains, people don’t know what to do with themselves. Even some of the malls are outside.
But today was not a day like that. Today was any other sunny Saturday. People posted beach pics on FB.
We had big plans today, and to our credit we sort of did most of them… I guess.
The bf and I’s first stop was fulfilling something we’d discussed doing together back on our first or second date. I mentioned before that sometimes we like to hang out and write together, and the same is true of reading together. We went to a fun local cafe, had breakfast/lunch and hung out for about an hour reading. I couldn’t help but compare it to where I work, and of course the Matcha is always greener on the other side. But I digress there.
We also saw this beauty for sale.
We stopped at a grand opening of a new PetSmart in our neighbourhood on the way home, and saw some beautiful cats and dogs that were up for adoption. I donated $10, and the bf and I spent some time scritching the chin of one of the more frightened looking cats. She was sweet. There was also another one that looked like his cat… a super cute tux. ♥
Everything so far so good until something that someone did/said while we were in line at the grocery store next door hit a nerve or three. It happens that quickly. The darkness creeps in. The doubt. The misery. The frustration. Something just gets triggered, and then blam.
The next set of plans were altered a bit as a result. The energy was sucked out of me for a little bit, and I had to fight off tears… but we still managed to get laundry done, the bf went for his run, and I did my indoor walking workout, so it was ok after all.
As I waited in the laundry room for the washer to finish I was phone-less and book-less, so I was stuck looking around the natural world, I suppose it was like in the old days. How much more observant were people then, when all they had to look at was what was around them? Did they see more colours? Smell more smells? I lived back in that time… I definitely feel like my attention span and patience has suffered in recent years thanks to technology. Still, I managed to learn of another cat that lives in our apartment complex. He, or she, peered out the window at me from the second floor. We had a staring contest. That makes seven that I know of in our building (including our two). I guess when you’re one of the very few places that allows pets you tend to get them all together. These are my people.
We ordered pizza because we deserved it, and tried to start watching a new show but it didn’t catch our interest enough and we found too many cons over pros. I’m not even going to bother mentioning what show.
I might’ve mentioned that we’re developing a card game. We debating between working on it tonight or playing a new one that we bought last weekend, and went with playing, or as I call it, ‘researching’. It was fun and frustrating, and we thought of some tips for our own game so research success.
Then we watched SNL’s Prince tribute (RIP)… and that leads us to where we find ourselves here. Nearly 3am and I’m now finally writing. I almost didn’t. I just didn’t fit it into the day. I felt bad… again… This 2-3am post probably isn’t as creative and interesting as if it’d been a 9pm or 3pm blog post, but it exists. Why? Because my bf is awesome, and supports me, and encourages me, and for whatever reason, he believes in me. He knows that if I hadn’t written a blog post today, even a lame one like this, that I’d go to bed feeling defeated, as though I’d given up. He was right, and he didn’t want to let that happen.
So, here’s over 700 words. Mediocre words, but words nonetheless… And here’s to not giving up… because maybe some day he’ll need to stay up late writing too, and I’ll be there for him.
♥ Daphne
There have been a couple of times in the past few years that I recall feeling actual freedom and happiness. It made me cry. I could feel it in every part of my body. I was light. My choices made sense. My life made sense. Everything was going to be ok. You can handle it. Nothing was wrong… until happiness made me cry. Well that doesn’t make sense – you probably say. So, why? Because I finally knew what I was missing out on. It usually does feel like there is a cloud following me around, blocking my ability to be present, grateful, confident, proud, to be myself. There are fleeting moments of hope, when I think I can do something. Like the other day, for example, when I accepted this challenge. I can do this! It will be so great! I’ll accomplish so many wonderful things!
Same Old Daph 