Today, or… Yesterday

Hey you,

I’m to write about my day. It was a pretty normal one.

The sun shone, and a cool breeze kept the 75ish° weather at standard. It was how most days began here. It is a California beach town, after all.

You’d think that with the weather being so similar day after day that people would stop talking about it. They don’t. When people find out that I moved here from Canada they assume I moved here for the weather. I didn’t. I like snow, and seasons. When it rains, people don’t know what to do with themselves. Even some of the malls are outside.

But today was not a day like that. Today was any other sunny Saturday. People posted beach pics on FB.

We had big plans today, and to our credit we sort of did most of them… I guess.

The bf and I’s first stop was fulfilling something we’d discussed doing together back on our first or second date. I mentioned before that sometimes we like to hang out and write together, and the same is true of reading together. We went to a fun local cafe, had breakfast/lunch and hung out for about an hour reading. I couldn’t help but compare it to where I work, and of course the Matcha is always greener on the other side. But I digress there.

We also saw this beauty for sale.

We stopped at a grand opening of a new PetSmart in our neighbourhood on the way home, and saw some beautiful cats and dogs that were up for adoption. I donated $10, and the bf and I spent some time scritching the chin of one of the more frightened looking cats. She was sweet. There was also another one that looked like his cat… a super cute tux. ♥

Everything so far so good until something that someone did/said while we were in line at the grocery store next door hit a nerve or three. It happens that quickly. The darkness creeps in. The doubt. The misery. The frustration. Something just gets triggered, and then blam.

The next set of plans were altered a bit as a result. The energy was sucked out of me for a little bit, and I had to fight off tears… but we still managed to get laundry done, the bf went for his run, and I did my indoor walking workout, so it was ok after all.

As I waited in the laundry room for the washer to finish I was phone-less and book-less, so I was stuck looking around the natural world, I suppose it was like in the old days. How much more observant were people then, when all they had to look at was what was around them? Did they see more colours? Smell more smells? I lived back in that time… I definitely feel like my attention span and patience has suffered in recent years thanks to technology. Still, I managed to learn of another cat that lives in our apartment complex. He, or she, peered out the window at me from the second floor. We had a staring contest. That makes seven that I know of in our building (including our two). I guess when you’re one of the very few places that allows pets you tend to get them all together. These are my people.

We ordered pizza because we deserved it, and tried to start watching a new show but it didn’t catch our interest enough and we found too many cons over pros. I’m not even going to bother mentioning what show.

I might’ve mentioned that we’re developing a card game. We debating between working on it tonight or playing a new one that we bought last weekend, and went with playing, or as I call it, ‘researching’. It was fun and frustrating, and we thought of some tips for our own game so research success.

Then we watched SNL’s Prince tribute (RIP)… and that leads us to where we find ourselves here. Nearly 3am and I’m now finally writing. I almost didn’t. I just didn’t fit it into the day. I felt bad… again… This 2-3am post probably isn’t as creative and interesting as if it’d been a 9pm or 3pm blog post, but it exists. Why? Because my bf is awesome, and supports me, and encourages me, and for whatever reason, he believes in me. He knows that if I hadn’t written a blog post today, even a lame one like this, that I’d go to bed feeling defeated, as though I’d given up. He was right, and he didn’t want to let that happen.

So, here’s over 700 words. Mediocre words, but words nonetheless… And here’s to not giving up… because maybe some day he’ll need to stay up late writing too, and I’ll be there for him.

♥ Daphne

 

Memory Burn

Now she speaks of the day with ease. Brushing it off as something that must have happened to everyone. She makes it seem as thought it’s not a big deal, so that she can try to lessen the fact that it was a big deal. Worse things have happened to others. So she tries to laugh… to forget.

But moving on isn’t about forgetting.

So, there she was, just a’walking down the street…  She strolled home around midnight, with one of her new housemates and a guest that was staying on the couch for a few days. They’d just seen a movie, and picked up some beer to chill with and hang out once they got back. She’d just moved in a week and a half ago. She hadn’t expected to live there long, and hadn’t even unpacked everything. In fact, she had to move again by the end of the month since a different housemate had turned out to be allergic to her cats. But that night it didn’t matter.

Then they turned a corner, onto their street.

The flashing lights concerned them immediately. Does that look like it’s near our place? It looks like it’s near our house. But we’re a few blocks away so maybe not. Ask that lady.

Yes, it’s that wooden house in behind the other Victorian looking blue one.

Their pace quickened along with her heart rate.

And then there they were. The firetrucks. The stench. The holes in the roof and the walls. The fireman shoveling ashes/foam out of her bedroom window. The fire was long put out.

The cats. I have two. Did you see any cats? One of them ran out the door when we kicked it in. What did it look like? What about the other one? No. Can I go in? No. What happened? We don’t really know. Neighbours heard a loud explosion.

Phone calls. Crying. The Red Cross comes to try to help. She’s sitting on the curb and hears the lady speaking but can’t physically speak or process what she is saying. Later she realizes this meant she might’ve been in shock. They helped her a lot in the coming weeks.

What time is it? I need to cancel my plans this weekend. How do I call my mom? My cell phone won’t call internationally. Does yours? Wait, it’s 3am there. Who are you? Oh, you live next door. I’m sorry we met this way too.

You can go in now.

the next day

It smells. There’s water on the floor, and a hole axed into the interior wall. Ashes and some material she doesn’t recognize have fallen on her shoe rack by the door. It’s dark.

The firemen stopped their clean up work in her bedroom as she walked in.

“Resident”. That was her name to them.

She covered her mouth. Gasped, and tried to breathe.

Outside again, talking in confusion with neighbours and friends. It’s late.

She screams her cat’s name and points near the front door. He’s wandering the yard. She catches him and screams again or cries. She’s not sure which. But he’s physically fine.

An hour or so later she had a friend check a pile of melted and smoke damaged clothes in her bedroom closet. Maybe her other cat is in there? Her body? No.

We should go.

She leaves food for the other cat just in case. Wait, I forgot something. Back in. A brown blur scurries across the waterlogged floor. Slips. Runs up the stairs.

The other one.

She scream/cries again. They’re both fine. Everything else doesn’t matter.

They go to leave, and she tries to put her cat into the carrier a neighbour let her borrow, but it clings to her arm and won’t let go, so she holds it on her lap as they drive away.

Later she found out the local news had come to interview bystanders. Strangers. Watching her bedroom and patio burn while no one was home. Interviewed about their thoughts. They interviewed her the next day. She cried on the  local news. She’s kinda homeless now. Couchsurfing for a week. Friends, coworkers, and acquaintances support in ways she can’t imagine. Gift cards. Free clothes. A roof over her head.

People are so nice.

She maybe had PTSD for a while. Had to leave campus when they installed a wood-burning oven in the cafeteria. The smell was too much. She kept randomly remembering stuff she lost. Photos. Clothes. Her brother’s backpack. Her Canada flag. Her journals. Things people had made for her. Her grandfather’s shawl. Her mother’s artwork that she’d rescued from a yard sale. The stuff important enough to unpack in the first week. It was just stuff, but it meant something.

But it doesn’t mean as much as life itself… and life goes on.

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I’ve had a lot of important days in my life, and could have chosen any number of them to write about in today’s prompt. I didn’t go to either of my two college graduation ceremonies though, and I haven’t ‘won a big game’. I got married, but am now happily divorced so that’s well behind me. I moved to a new country, but don’t remember that day, so much as the days that followed. I remember significant moments with my boyfriend. When we first met, our first kiss, meeting his friends and his parents, going camping for the first time, moving to our new apartment together…. but moments aren’t days.

I really wanted to make myself write about something else, anything else, to not relive this. Individual days are tough to bring to singular importance,  and I prefer to look at periods in our life rather than one day… That said, I chose this day because it is a rare one that feels individually significant, and I remember it clearer than almost any other day… and I chose it because it’s time to let it go.

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♥ Daphne

I’m Free to Write What I Want – So … Cats.

Hey you,

Today’s challenge? Free-writing. Blahity blah until I run out. It’s intended to get us comfortable with writing off the top of our heads without scratching for that perfect word or passage that holds up progress and/or process. I think that’s already basically what I do, but nothing like some good practice to keep the words flowing.

I’m trying not to cover any topics that I will be coming up later under other prompts, so I think I’ll write about cats, because internet. And because I really could go on and on about them, so I’ll try to keep this short.

The Cat Past

Growing up I lived on a farm from about age 7 through moving out at 19ish. I don’t really know of anyone who lives out in the country and doesn’t have a cat nearby. I remember getting kittens from the neighbour next door. Two tabbies – one for me, one for my brother. Mine was orange and looked kinda like Garfield, and grew into a tough husky tom cat. I liked him, but unfortunately don’t have any pics.

In my twenties my parents somehow ended up with more cats, kind of randomly. It all mostly started with this one particular grey beauty that had a few litters over the years (pic is of one of the toms). I remember sitting with my mom and watching the kittens play for ages. There was a new litter around every year. These days I strongly advocate for spaying and neutering your pets!!

Once, a kitten somehow ended up in my mom’s car (or rather, under it), and rode with her to work one day!! It was fine, and someone saw it roaming the parking lot. She gave it away to a co-worker, so all’s well that ends well.

The Cat Present

I now have two cats. Kitty, my love, is 13 years old, and I’ve had her since she was a little kitten. I fell in love with her kitten polka-dot belly, and most people fall for her gigantic eyes (which aren’t really given justice in this pic). I adopted her from Animal Aide of St. Thomas-Elgin. She carried me through most of my 20s, early 30s, a couple of ex-boyfriends, and an ex-husband, and even moved to California from Canada with me. On the drive here (which was about 4 days at 8-10 hours a day) she’d meow when she’d had enough and it was time to stop for the night. hah

She’s shy, sweet, and beautiful, and I wouldn’t trade her for anything; human, feline, or otherwise. She’s basically been the only consistent thing in my life for 13 years. I’ve already preemptively cried about the thought that, in theory, I will out-live her. My bf and her are adorable together too, which is good…  because that’s a deal breaker. 😉

The other cat currently in my life is Finnegan. Well, Sir Finnegan Walter O’Malley, to be precise. Oh, this guy. EVERYONE loves Finnegan. No exaggeration. Even if you don’t like cats, or you’re allergic, or prefer dogs… I have not witnessed anyone who doesn’t end up loving this guy. He’s handsome, fluffy, talkative, playful, chill, and an attention seeker. He chirps goodbye when we leave, and runs to the door when we get home. He even plays fetch (no, really). He is SUCH a character.

I adopted Finnegan 6 years ago from Animal Shelter Assistance Program, not long after moving to California. Not long ago he got unexpectedly pretty sick. We had to rush him to the vet, and 3 days at the vet, several medications, and over $2000 later (ugh…), we still weren’t really sure what happened, but he’s ok now… Weird! It was some sort of infection in his bladder or kidneys. Could’ve been a lot worse, so having faced the thought of him not in my life, I’m grateful even more that he is. His presence is a big one, and when he’s not around it leaves a big hole.

The Cat Future

Easter weekend we found out that a cat that my bf’s parents had rescued turned out to be pregnant. Oh my. Soooo… naaaaturally…. We’re getting a kitten!!!!! *squeeeeeal* This weekend we’re going to meet the litter and pick one out, and will return there (they live a few hours away) to bring it home in May when it’s old enough. We already know that its name will be Senator Purrington. hehehe… I’ll be sure to share pics, don’t worry! More on that later.

Anyway, I love to hear about people’s furry family members, so share them if you’ve got them! And check out Finnegan’s Facebook page (yes, that is a real thing that I just typed).

♥ Daphne